Hello everyone!
I feel writing & sharing heal me, and I really want to do it more often. But sometime I'm not sure with what should i write OR it's the matter of time. As one of the alternatives, i think i'm going to share personal stories / daily activities / photos / maybe you want to suggest me? please let me know! And i hope you guys can get the good points from my post ☺
Shall we start?
...
These days I've been feeling unstable. Sometimes I am too happy and all in a sudden I think about all the problems then be sad and then..burst. Yes, this familiar and uncomfortable feelings. My closest friends and families are here and i know they are willing to listen, but at particular time, it's just me who doesn't want to be open. I really appreciate both those who always ask about my situation and those who already know that i don't want to be asked, it means a lot for me. Showing the sympathy is already enough. Because of course, there are things i want to keep personal. I'm not sure if it's the best decision or not, but at least that's what makes me comfortable.
I've been feeling overwhelmed with thoughts that kept buzzing around my mind
I've been feeling guilty for the things i've done to people and it hurt them
I've been feeling sensitive and melancholy in the same time
I've been feeling like facing lots of challenges which sometime i cannot breakdown
I've been feeling overly excited and then started to be quiet
But then I think, what is life if i don't feel the down side of it? There's no such thing as eternal happiness. Precisely, sadness is the absence of happiness. Even me, my friends, and the people that seem really enjoying their life have their own challenges that they personally face. And they manage not to show it and that doesn't mean everybody's having a happy life and you're the one suffering. So yes, i want to remind you guys that
I feel writing & sharing heal me, and I really want to do it more often. But sometime I'm not sure with what should i write OR it's the matter of time. As one of the alternatives, i think i'm going to share personal stories / daily activities / photos / maybe you want to suggest me? please let me know! And i hope you guys can get the good points from my post ☺
Shall we start?
...
These days I've been feeling unstable. Sometimes I am too happy and all in a sudden I think about all the problems then be sad and then..burst. Yes, this familiar and uncomfortable feelings. My closest friends and families are here and i know they are willing to listen, but at particular time, it's just me who doesn't want to be open. I really appreciate both those who always ask about my situation and those who already know that i don't want to be asked, it means a lot for me. Showing the sympathy is already enough. Because of course, there are things i want to keep personal. I'm not sure if it's the best decision or not, but at least that's what makes me comfortable.
I've been feeling overwhelmed with thoughts that kept buzzing around my mind
I've been feeling guilty for the things i've done to people and it hurt them
I've been feeling sensitive and melancholy in the same time
I've been feeling like facing lots of challenges which sometime i cannot breakdown
I've been feeling overly excited and then started to be quiet
But then I think, what is life if i don't feel the down side of it? There's no such thing as eternal happiness. Precisely, sadness is the absence of happiness. Even me, my friends, and the people that seem really enjoying their life have their own challenges that they personally face. And they manage not to show it and that doesn't mean everybody's having a happy life and you're the one suffering. So yes, i want to remind you guys that
It's okay not to be okay.
Everybody has their own way to deal with this kind of feelings.
For those who has been feeling this way, let me share my personal tips to handle time like this :
1. Remember that you're a human
At times we forget that we don't always need to be strong. Just admit it when you're not as strong as you used to be. There are time like this. As a human, we feel many kind of feelings and emotions. So yes, this unstable feeling is normal and you're not alone. We're not God that has the ability to do everything. Enjoy this uncomfortable feeling to be more grateful while you are on your happy times.
2. Have a container to complain
It can be a physical place, it can be an online social media, or whatever on how you define it. For example,
when i feel mad, i take a paper and pour my emotion into words
when i just want to grumble, i express it through my second account - and then delete it (at least, once i've express my feeling)
3. Do things that you like or even, LOVE!
Like eating the foods that you love, go to places that makes you feel content, meeting friends who share positivity, dancing, etc, so you don't have excuses to complain. I mean, let's just take a break from complaining for a while and enjoy life!
4. To always share the feeling
This is important. Keeping your problems to yourself is okay, it's sometime better if you are able and trust others enough to share your story. But if you don't want to, at least share it to yourself through writing in a journal and to your God. Personally for me, these two things always succeed on making me feel better.
5. Follow motivational account
I personally really helped by the presence of people who like to share positivity. (and that is why i'm also doing that, to help others while also helping myself). Take time to read and understand their words, sometime we only scan the words but not taking it seriously while it's actually useful. Account that i recommend (on instagram) :
- @idillionaire
- @thechampagnediet
- @bossladiesmindset
- @girlboss
- @candisoeleman
- @proud.project
- @adamjk
- @motivationmavia
- @subliming.jpg
Anyway, i didn't write it by rank, just whatever popped into my mind. So please check it, i'm very happy if they also can help you!
Thanks for taking your time to read my blog, please share to your friends if you think they need it. And if you want to be more personal with me, don't hesitate to contact me through mail (cut.lakeisha@gmail.com) ! I'd be very happy to make new friends ♡
1. Be specific to my dream
Take time to watch this
One point that personally for me very important from the video is "to be specific". We'll know what to do to reach our dreams. Sometime, we are too general on setting our dreams/goals. I try to think again, what i actually want from it? The pride? feeling? experience? Taking an example from one of his dreams; at first, he wanted to become an astronaut, but then he realized that he only wanted to float. And so he did float! On 2017, i targeted myself to be noticed by Gogirl Magazine. I tried to join an event that sponsored by it but they haven't notice me, yes i didn't stop right there. Suddenly that time came, when one of the editors asked my photo to be on the Street Style highlights. And here i am on their May 2017 issue
2. Everything happen for a reason
I believe that every ups and down lead me into a different version of myself
3. and Everything has been arranged
But this doesn't mean to always accept any tragedy. Humans are special because we have mind. So i use it to THINK!
4. “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”– The Alchemist
My favorite quotes!! (Thanks mazaya for the book recommendation). And I realize that it is very true. It happens to me. The book also reminds me that there are always Omens that lead us to our dreams. In this case, i have to notice.
5. Everything is possible, literally everything!!
6. Dream on. Dream, dream, dream!
And believe it! Never did I have in mind I will travel to United States, Tokyo, London, Singapore, Yogyakarta, Bali, and Europe in a year. But I remember I already wanted to visit those places since I was in Elementary school, no lie. My dreams might take days, months, and years, but I believe it and it's not only going to be just a dream – its gonna be real.
I also met ka Ayla Dimitri and had lunch with her and some of my new friends. I used to tell my friends that I’m going to know her better and deeper. It finally happen when she made her birthday lunch (should I make a post about this?!).
And one of the highlights is attending high fashion brand event. This year I went to Bvlgari year-end party. From years I’ve been dreaming to get invited to such events, and finally I got it from my aunt!
I also met ka Ayla Dimitri and had lunch with her and some of my new friends. I used to tell my friends that I’m going to know her better and deeper. It finally happen when she made her birthday lunch (should I make a post about this?!).
And one of the highlights is attending high fashion brand event. This year I went to Bvlgari year-end party. From years I’ve been dreaming to get invited to such events, and finally I got it from my aunt!
7. Communication is the key of everything
I can't expect everybody will understand me. *Don't expect people will understand my facial expression, gestures, and my backgrounds if i don’t tell them at all*
8. Perspective is very important!!
It’s how I see things. One event can lead me to disappointment, but there is ALWAYS lesson learned from that disappointment. Better if I can see it as a time where I can improve myself
9. And yes, there’s always something to learn
From college, my friend’s story, film, books, even social media!
10. Its possible for me to like things I used to hate, even now I feel like having necessity to do those things, why?
It depends on how the situation and when i want to explore it. I used to hate reading and watching (series & movies). But now I feel like I have to read/watch. Back again to the perspectives. I realize by doing these things, I can communicate with people with that topic, I learn a lot by listening and reading! Aand, I like it!
11. Every good or bad occurrence shape us into a better individual
12. Sharing is very important!
Very very important. Sometime, i have the intuition to share and also sometime, the content is what the others currently need to know. Aside from that, I can get another point from my friend’s point of view13. Environment and my surroundings influence on how i think and i act.
So, please make sure yours is a good one! I feel very lucky to have supportive friends. People around me always believe in me, even when i don't. They are the reason why i'm still working on my dream14. Turns out that I can hold my emotion, “if there’s a will, there’s a way”
15. What differentiate myself with others is to be the best and truest version of myself.
I have this strange, weird, and umm unique way of posing. It has started from 2009 maybe. But i never show it to social media because i was so afraid of not meeting the standard. Until i realize, i have to stand out! Stand out by showing my authenticity!
16. Reading books affect my personal life
When I realize this, I take advantages by reading good personal development books. So I, myself will improve myself (but I also read novels tho)17. Appreciating and valuing myself is NEEDED!
I take time to realize how far I have gone and thank the universe for helping me to reach this very moment.18. If i have ideas that i can't do immediately, at least i WRITE IT DOWN.
On notes/post it/wherever it is!. Because not everyday i can think the same thing19. Most valuable lessons: to be a kind, sincere, and calm person.
Quoted from Marsha’s Dad “ketenangan menguasai keadaan”. This is one of my 2017 guideline. I make sure i don't decide something when I’m on fire
20. It’s not how people treat us the way I treat them, but it is indeed how i treat them without expecting they do the same
21. To live in the present moment. Because regret is really useless – but make it as a useful lesson
22. Even when we don’t know what to do with ourselves, support others is always possible – whenever and wherever!!
23. Compliment is necessary.
I love it when people appreciate my outfits, videos, works, etc. But I learn to do that too to others. Because everybody’s happy when they are appreciated
24. From “Ego is the enemy” book, it also taught me to ask feedbacks.
I mean, we sometimes don't feel the need to ask because we’re afraid of being hurt. But what actually it does, is making us a better self
25. To always be a student
26. Set challenging targets instead of the possible ones.
If I’m always in the comfort zone, when I’m gonna know the potential of myself?
27. Being nice, kind, and doing good doesn’t make me regret. But, when i misbehave or hurt others, I’m gonna regret it. So always, always be kind
28. From my meeting with Ka Ayla, she told me that to be pro active
We can’t just be quite and handle our luck. Effort is needed guys!!
29. I once read this, “if we listen we know new things, if we talk we repeat the things we already know”
in which, both are good. And I think I can correlate with reading & writing. When we write, we become more understand about things we already know, but when we read, we get new knowledges.30. Try everything in order to know which one suits you the BEST!
One lesson I got when my mom took me into lots of courses! (kumon, swimming, reading quran, drawing, ballet, jazz ballet, even computer!) In the end, I know which one I really like (dancing) because I feel an uncomfortable and ordinary feeling from doing the rest of it. Sometime we know the best through our feelings and intuitions, but also sometime, we need comparison. And BE BRAVE to try is the key!
31. Creative idea is interesting, but it won’t be anything if you don't do it.
I once see a new trend and think, “I already thought about this before it became a new trend!!” But then I realize, I actually just think about it. I can’t claim that the idea is mine unless I’ve tried to do it and make something of it, so, just do it!
32. Learn to fill my social media content with the positive & useful ones.
I notice that I wasted lots of time scrolling my phone. So to turn it to a useful one, I follow accounts with good content (knowledges, motivations, etc!)33. If I ask about something personal (family, relationship, dreams), it’s okay to gain insights, but always DIGEST all things.
In the end, I’m the one who know what to do and who deals with my own life, so think twice. I don't want to regret and won’t let this thought “Its actually my friend’s decision not mine!” happen (again)
34. If i feel like nobody would understand my problem, ask google.
It’s available and it has every answers from the simplest till the very complex!35. To share my dreams with my friends is needed.
The benefit is, when something related to us/our dream, they will remember us! That time when i met ka Ayla, i might not knew it if Tamara & Mazaya mentioned the news to me!36. Repetition is the key
We get bored being reminded with things we already know, but I learn this from my Lecturer, that it turns out to be the key!
37. From girlcode book “exhale negativity”
Couldn’t agree more. What I do is unfollow accounts that make me comment negative things and (of course I’m still trying ya) if I’m in a circle when they talk about gossip, try not to join or change the topic into something more interesting! Like “Who inspired you the most”, “What do you wanna do after graduating”, “What is the most valuable lesson in this month”. Think of it, it’s more useful than gossiping!
38. The most important thing is when we’re close with God
We will get double blessings without we’re asking. When we feel down or given a disaster, (as rakil said) it means God still love us because He still remember us. And at that time, we have to feel blessed – not complaining.
Let’s fist talk
about food. Our parent gave us food when we were child, then we eat the food by
ourselves. But now/in the future, we need to look for money in order to eat. You get it?
In this post, I will
write about how I see and interpret birthday; an annual celebration that seem
different for me. Well in my term, birthday is not only about getting older;
it’s more like growing up.
The time when I
reflect what a year past has contained; the challenges that I fought, the
opportunities that I met, the risks that I took, the sadness that I felt, the joy that
filled my days,
The time that I got
more responsibilities and getting closer to the real world, related to the
first paragraph above,
The time to be more
sensitive to living and nonliving objects. Understand and know more about my surroundings.
This year I realize,
there are people that contribute on making my birthday feel priceless. Along
with that, I think I should be more grateful for each gesture that they make
for me; the wishes they gave – not to forget the long description about how
they look toward me, the visuals that is related to me, even the feelings that
came up because of them.
Thank You
“Wish you all the
best!”, “Semoga panjang umur, sehat selalu”, “makin cantik, sukses ya
sekolahnya!”. Basic? Yes I do agree. But as a grown up person, I think
appreciating those little effort is very important. When people remember which
date is my birthday, it’s nice. But when they send me some love through
words/presence, it’s special.
Special.
That’s the
word of how I think everybody should feel on his or her birthday. Let me remind
you something. Don’t be lazy on wishing somebody on his or her birthday. You
don’t know what are the things that they expect, but sparing 2 minutes of your 24
hours won’t hurt, right? Show some gratitude of their existence – what are
the things you wish for them? Or a simple “happy birthday” from you, might be
the thing that he/she has waited for a day.
To keep my moment and to remember the feeling that i felt on the 21st of august 2017, let me share some of the pictures on that day.
Glimpse of what's inside the book :
"There's no better feeling than feel loved"
Once again, thank you
I don’t really know what makes us close, but whatever the
reason is, I'm so thankful that you are my best friend
To my dearest Raissa Imandari,
You're a person that can make everybody comfortable and in
love with you. You're kindhearted, humble, cheerful, loyal, and..duh i cant mention your
amazing personality one by one. Your attitude makes your surroundings feel good.
Even though you’re younger than me, you have to know that you've taught me a
lot - from small to big things, from the unimportant to important points, and
from love to life stories.
Here, I want to remind you that you're a smart woman with
good behaviors that have a lot of skills. You're talented (I mean, look at your
paintings, design visuals, your dance talent!), you're valuable, and you're
lucky to be you. You're truly a blessing! Sometime, people have to be reminded
so they can appreciate themselves, right?
Now let me start with a small token of my gratitude for
being by my side in this whole time and making it all worthwhile
Thank you for being your parent’s daughter so that we went
to the same school and we knew each other. Thank you for always sticking with
me, I know at some times, it is very hard to keep up with me, but you always
did. You always tell me what should I actually do and how should I actually
act. Thank you for having a good taste in neither fashion nor music and
influence it to me. Thank you for introducing me to good and comfort food, wasting
time with my family and me. Thank you for being a strong person that I inspire
much. Thank you for being the one who I can always rely on. Thank you for your
interest in dancing that makes us both closer. Thank you for always sharing
your story.
Thank you for being you and for letting me be me
We've shared moments together,
That time when you were my junior in the elementary school and xlash likes to asked for your foods
That time when you were my junior in the elementary school and xlash likes to asked for your foods
Entered the same junior high
Was in the same audition for being the modern dance member
Was in the same audition for being the modern dance member
Arranged the choreography together, managed to did a fast
learning by both of our movements
Went to pim and hang together every Saturday
Bali & those things we did
Sending supports and help deciding on choosing senior high
Sending supports and help deciding on choosing senior high
Was separated and getting much closer
Had a valentine dinner with coordinated dresscode
Had a valentine dinner with coordinated dresscode
Trained ourselves with dance class 2 sessions per
week
Hanged out with both of our boyfriends
Hanged out with both of our boyfriends
Accompany you driving with your dolls
Buying each other gifts in a random time with no special
occasion, not to forget with letter on it (I still keep all of them!)
Those countless sleepovers and girls talks
When you cried and share the stories to my parents, also conversely
Sharing our dreams and tell the opinions
That time when we went to our graduations and congratulate
directly
Busy on thinking each of us birthday party concept, and it’s
always you’re the one that busy on my birthday
Buy flowers every Sunday
Gallery hoping and art markets
Cried in the airport and moving on to chats and video
calls
Planned a holiday trip each time you got home
And so on...
Well, you and I don’t know yet where this next year will
take us, but I hope wherever it will be, we can always share our stories
together
Today, you fulfill one more year of life. I’m wishing that
you’d be shower with happiness and loves. More opportunities & chances come
and develop the better self of you. Of course, I hope you have a great year
ahead and company by health. Surround by people that appreciate you as much as
you do to feel the good in return. Enjoying each of small activities and love
what you do. I also wish that you’ll be known as the person you wanted to be. Oh,
and being the Minister of Finance in the future, right? In this case, you have
to divide your time between work, family and ME. If it’s like that, I will be
sincere, tihi! I hope we always have each other's back! Well, the other
wishes would be from you and I’m here will help by saying “amin” in each of
your prayers.
To another fun and successful years, Happy
Birthday Ray
Forever & Always
Your person, CLSP